What exactly does ghosting look like?

(Bumble, no date) If you’ve been fortunate enough to dodge it in your life thus far, ghosting occurs when someone discontinues all connection with you and provides no explanation. They virtually disappear off the face of the world.

Ghosting, like any other dating experience, has its intricacies. “The key point is that there was some contact to begin with,” explains media psychologist Dr. Pamela B. Rutledge. “Not answering a first message isn’t ghosting.” Furthermore, a delayed loss of connection may not constitute ghosting. Instead, this might be a type of breadcrumbing, when you lead someone on without intending to seek a meaningful relationship.

Why do people ghost each other?

When you’ve been ghosted, it’s easy to think you did something wrong. However, in most situations, this conduct tells more about the ghoster—specifically, their living circumstances and dating habits.

Sometimes individuals ghost unintentionally. “They might be talking to several people and lose track of the conversations,” says Dr. Michelle Drouin, a psychology professor at Purdue University Fort Wayne. They may even ghost because they are unsure of what they want from a relationship or how to reply to a message. She says that by discontinuing communication, they are pausing.

women ghosted by BF and feeling distraught

Other people ghost when they realize they are no longer interested but are unsure how to tell this to the other person. “Some see speaking directly with the objective of discontinuing relationships as confronting or as a form of rejection,” says Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, a relationship therapist and lecturer. “They share that they are unwilling to end up being the one to be broken up with, so by ghosting, they feel that they are safeguarding the other person’s feelings.”

Why is ghosting abysmal?

Even if there was no malicious intent, “repeatedly being ghosted acts as an uncivilized habit and may indicate an absence of adulthood and interpersonal skills,” says Dr. Rutledge. “And it can have immense adverse impacts on the individual who is being ghosted.”

Ghosting, in particular, can impair our demands for interaction and control, both of which are critical to our physical and mental health. “People ghosted on dating platforms might experience decreased self-esteem via an absence of self-assurance about their romantic appeal,” Dr. Rutledge speculates. “This is particularly true if the ghosting takes the person completely by surprise.” Being ghosted might leave daters with unanswered concerns about what went wrong.

How can I prevent “ghosting” someone on Bumble?

“To make sure you don’t unwittingly ghost someone, limit your in-app conversations to people you’re really interested in and keep track of those interactions,” according to Dr. Drouin. Make sure to react to messages, and if you don’t want to develop an attachment with someone, tell them as soon as possible. Dr. Cohen proposes sending a note that reads, “I had a blast talking to you, but I don’t think we’re a romantic match.” I wish you tons of luck in your relationships!” You may make your message brief and sweet, and you don’t have to go into depth about why you want to get out of the relationship. See here for more tips on how to kindly end a connection via text message.

Ending relationships responsibly can also aid with personal development. “The ability to be honest and express how you’re feeling is foundational to healthy relationships,” Dr. Rutledge adds. “Instead of avoiding confrontation, practice dealing with it constructively by expressing ‘no’ in a reasonably safe manner.

Could I confess to being ghosted on Bumble?

Indeed, you can now block & report someone on Bumble for ghosting if they fail to show up for an in-person encounter (despite explicit plans made by both of you). To report someone for ghosting, tap “Off Bumble behavior,” followed by “Stood me up.” You may also report someone you’ve been mismatched with, even if you don’t remember their name, by emailing Bumble’s support team—either through their website or the app—and providing as much information as you can.

Ghosting could appear to be a simple technique to save time and minimize your personal stress. However, this style of avoidance is ultimately more damaging—and disrespectful to your match. By expressing your indifference honestly (and gently), you can help people achieve closure and move on. You’ll also be adopting the nicest and most mature approach

Q / A Regarding Ghosting:

Why was I ghosted?
The reason for being ghosted is frequently more about the ghoster than the ghostee. Cutting off contact saves the individual from confrontation, accepting responsibility, or participating in the emotional work of empathy—despite the advantage that a discussion might give. In reality, it is far more convenient to vanish.

Why do I feel so horrible after getting ghosted?
Being ghosted might be perplexing since you don’t know if the relationship is truly gone or if there is another explanation for the person’s absence. You may be concerned that the individual has suffered a tragic fate. When you discover the relationship has ended, you have no idea what occurred or what you did wrong. You believe that you are to blame.

Should I approach the individual who has ghosted me?
This is most likely determined by how long the connection lasts. If the individual did not text you after your second or third date, it is usually pointless to contact them, and you are likely better off without them. If the connection lasted for several months, a message or email may be appropriate. Be upfront and ask for honesty.

How can I recover from being ghosted?
The most essential thing to remember is that no one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them. Furthermore, it is quite acceptable to feel hurt. However, a longer period of negative emotions may not be justified, especially if the time spent with your ghoster was not prolonged. Instead, prioritize self-care by eating well, sleeping well, being physically active, and spending time with friends. If you need assistance, call a therapist.

Is ghosting ever appropriate?
Sometimes vanishing is required. If the individual begins to make you feel uncomfortable, you will have to consider leaving. Perhaps the individual expresses fury that seems dangerous and unsafe. Or the individual does not appear to have limits, such as contacting someone you previously dated for information. Alternatively, the person may exhibit dark tendencies such as manipulation, lying, and other sorts of deception.

Does technology foster ghosting?
Technology may exacerbate the inclination to ghost: According to research, the large number of possible matches on dating apps may make each person look more disposable. Simply swipe right. Another mindset that may encourage ghosting is faith in destiny. According to one research, persons who believe in love destiny—the idea that everyone has a soulmate waiting to sweep them off their feet—are considerably more likely to think that ghosting is appropriate. (Ghosting, 2024)